Whiskey Lullabye
by Deathangel113
Summary: A collection of Haru/Isuzu drabbles, ficlets, one-shots and song fictions.
1. Whiskey Lullabye

**Summary:**** With those nine simple words she ruined his life. With all his might he tried to forget her, but he never did. Seven years later she tried to forget and when she did, they both remained beneath that willow together. All the while, the angels sang above.**

**Disclaimer: Furuba (anime/manga) is the property of Natsuki Takaya. The song Whiskey Lullabye is the property of its appropriate owner(s). I hold no affiliation to Furuba or Whiskey Lullabye.**

* * *

Whiskey Lullabye

_She put him out like the burning end of a midnight cigarette._

_She broke his heart: He spent his whole life trying to forget._

_We watched him drink his pain away, a little at a time,_

_But he never could get drunk enough to get her off his mind,_

_Until the night:_

_"I don't need you anymore. I'm tired of you."_

Her words, they never stopped echoing in his mind. Even though he had told Yuki everything it didn't help. Because of the pain she had caused him he did horrible things. He had been punished, everything. Not even sweet, innocent Tohru could help him.

He put the bottle to his lips, letting the cold liquid run down his throat, warm his insides and cloud his mind. "Maybe this time I'll forget her," he said quietly. He took another drink of the alcohol, but he could still hear her words, not as loud as before but still there. Another swallow but the last one had drained the bottle. "Damn." Throwing the bottle, he watched as it shattered against the far wall.

"There you are."

He looked over and saw them. Standing over him like some heathen gods. "What do you want!"

She sounded sad or was that worry in her voice.

"The bell rang two hours ago."

"We've been looking everywhere for you."

He stood up, stumbling over to the teen who had spoken. "What's wrong Yuki?" he asked, leaning against him. "Were you worried?"

"Stop it! Damn it, you're making me sick just hearing you speak!"

"Oh what's wrong Kyo?" he asked. "Am I making you sick, you stupid ass cat!" His anger flared like a flame.

"I hate it when you go black!" Kyo spat the words like venom.

"I've gone black." He chuckled, finding humor in his own words. "You've got that right."

"Haru."

He looked at her as she walked towards him, hands raised.

"Let's go home. We'll walk you."

"No need, I'm leaving." He began to walk away but stopped and turned to Kyo. "Just to let you know," his lips formed into a sick smile as he spoke. "Black Haru's staying." He left then, leaving the school grounds and walking towards home in the light of the setting sun. His steps were unsure and he tripped over his own feet several times, falling to the cold cement each time, before rising to continue his slurring walk.

Kyo looked at the shattered bottle in disgust. "He's going to drink himself to death.

_He put that bottle to his head and pulled the trigger._

_And finally drank away her memory._

_Life is short, but this time it was bigger,_

_Than the strength he had to get up off his knees._

_We found him with his face down in the pillow,_

_With a note that said: "I'll love her till I die."_

_And when we buried him beneath the willow,_

_The angels sang a whiskey lullabye._

He walked into his brother and shut out the sound of his mother's tears.

His mother never used to cry. When he had first trashed his classroom because of the anger he had built up after the breakup, she had yelled at him and then she laughed. Then he started drinking. When she smell the alcohol on his breath the first time, found him lying outside with the empty bottle in his hand, she cried. Then she yelled, he voice harsh and her eyes red and puffy from the tears. Afterwards she had dragged him to his bed and tried to break him from the addiction since then. Failing every time and now she just cried every time she found him drunk.

He laid down on his mattress and stared at the ceiling.

Her voice was returning.

Slipping his hand beneath his pillow he found the bottle he kept there. Sitting up, he drained half of the golden liquid in one long swallow. The warmth spread through him and he felt himself becoming light headed, but he could still hear her voice. Another swallow and the liquid was gone. He set the bottle beside a picture of the two of them together on a sunny day, a perfect day.

Her voice grew louder, echoing in his mind.

Standing up, he walked to his desk almost falling as he tripped on his discarded book bag. His hand went to his desk light and he flipped the switch, the yellow light illuminating the scattered papers on the desk's surface. After shuffling through them he found a blank, white sheet and grabbed the pen that had rolled to the desk's edge. It took several tries before the ink flowed from the pen and formed black letters on the paper. When that task was finished, he opened the bottom drawer of his desk and removed the text book that hid his secret. He pulled out the gun and examined it as the light reflected off of the jet black surface. He flipped open the section that contained the bullets and saw one silver bullet within.

That bullet, he had planned to use against the one who had hurt her the first time, when he tried again. The demon that sent her to the hospital was going to pay at one time when he bought the gun and the single bullet to protect her.

He closed the barrel and walked to his bed. Once more he sat on the mattress and stared at the picture of them together.

_"I don't need you anymore. I'm tired of you."_

Her words so hard, so cold, so cruel. He could still see her sitting in the hospital bed, clutching the white sheets tightly, refusing to look at him as she spoke those nine words.

"You can't put away feelings like those," he said to that smiling face of her's in the picture. "I couldn't." His grip on the paper tightened as he raised the gun to his head. He pushed the muzzle to his temple while he stared at the picture. "I'll love you forever Rin," he said quietly, as his finger pulled the trigger.

The gun fell from his hand as the shot rang out through the house. He fell to the bed limply, the upper half of his body rolling from his side to his back. His gray eyes stared blankly at the ceiling. Blood flowed from the two wounds in his head, staining his sheets and his black and white hair. The note he had written was splattered with blood and rested in his limp hand.

* * *

"I knew it would kill him."

A small group of people stood over a new grave.

The grave was beneath the willow, a tree foreign to the country. Its long flowing tendrils decorated with small leaves blew gently with the breeze. Overhead, gray clouds threatened rain.

"Shut up you stupid cat," Yuki snapped.

"I'm just saying..."

"We know what you're saying Kyo. But NOW's not the time or place."

The teen went silent, staring at the grave along with the others.

"It didn't kill him."

"Momiji..."

Momiji lifted his eyes to the woman who stood across form them.

Black wisps of hair blew across her face as empty brown eyes stared free of any emotion at the grave.

_The rumors flew but nobody knew how much she blamed herself._

_For years and years, she tried to hide the whiskey on her breath._

_She finally drank her pain away, a little at a time,_

_But she never could get drunk enough to get him off her mind._

She sat in her bedroom like she did every night. Drinking the cold amber liquid that always warmed her and made her numb. Seven years had passed and rumors still circulated around the Sohma House of how Haru had killed himself because of her, but they didn't know the truth.

Akito was the reason she broke up with him. The reason she bore scars on her body and why Haru was dead.

She looked at her wrists, seeing the white scars of past attempts to end her pain when he first died, all of them failed. That was when she started drinking.

It helped to ease the pain, just like it helped when she slid the cold steel of the razor along her wrists, cutting open the veins and releasing the crimson blood that kept her alive. But unlike the cutting, alcohol had erased all of her pain. There was only one flaw, him.

Every night she saw his face, smiling like he did in the picture of them together that was set before her. She relived walking into his room and seeing the blood splattered walls, the bloodstained sheets, the empty bottle and the items. Both were stained in his blood. The picture of the two of them on that perfect day just smiling and his note.

_I'll love her till I die._

"Damn it!" She slammed her glass down, causing it to shatter and its contents to spill. A hiss passed her lips and she stared at the cuts on her hand.

"Rin?"

She turned around in time to see her door slide open and a man step in. "Gure-nii."

Her eyes gazed at him, staring at the man she lived with for the past seven years. A feeling of disgust rose in her throat as she realized that she had let the man she called big brother screw her every night since she moved in, even if it distracted her from Haru's memory.

"Get out Shigure."

"What." His eyes went to the shattered glass and the bottle beside it. "I should have known." He looked at her angrily. "You've been drinking Rin."

"Get out!"

He took several steps back as the woman screamed, her eyes mad with the loss of sanity.

Picking up the bottle, she threw it at Shigure, only to hit the door as he slid it shut behind him. Her eyes watched the shattered glass fall to the floor and the alcohol splatter everywhere.

_Until the night:_

_She put that bottle to her head and pulled the trigger._

_And finally drank away his memory._

_Life is short but this time it was bigger,_

_Than the strength he had to get up off her knees._

_We found her with her face down in the pillow,_

_Clinging to his picture for dear life._

_We laid her next to him beneath the willow,_

_While the angels sang a whiskey lullabye._

She turned to look at the picture. Picking up the black gun beside it, she opened the barrel and saw the single silver bullet before closing it. Rising from her knees she walked slowly towards her bed, both the picture and gun in hand. "It ended," she whispered to the shadows of the room.

Death stood in the shadows, cloaked in black his scythe in hand. She had risen for him as her love did seven years past, rising to meet his same end. A shiver passed through her and up her spine as she felt death's gaze on her while she walked to her demise.

Sitting on her mattress she clutched the picture tightly to her chest. "My life ended with yours." Closing her eyes tightly, she raised the gun to her head and placed the muzzle to her temple, before pulling the trigger.

* * *

The group stood beneath the willow. Silent, they stared not only at Haru's grave but at the new grave beside his, Rin's.

Though they were unable to be together in life, the remaining juunishi had laid her next to him. The two corpses together, side by side, while their souls wandered lost together in the afterlife due to their heathonous crime.

Shigure lifted his head from the graves to the gray sky. Above the breeze that played with his hair and blew the willow's branches he had heard it. Soft as a feather, clear as the stars he heard quiet music playing and angels singing a whiskey lullabye.


	2. Mirror

****

Summary: She was a doll that had been broken and put together again. Her reflection was proof of that.

**Disclaimer: Fruits Basket (anime/manga) is the property of Natsuki Takaya. I hold no affiliation or ownership to it.**

* * *

She was a gruesome creature. Her body was that of a porcelain doll that a child had discarded, shattering when it struck the ground. She had been glued back together, but the scars of that day still remained. Nothing would heal the scars that marked her body. She slammed her first against her reflection, causing cracks to form before glass fell to the ground. Blood dripped from her hand, falling through the air before splattering on the broken fragments on the floor. Glass cut into her knees as she slid to the floor. Shattered reflection stared up at her, drinking the crimson elixir that struck them. She stared with haunted eyes at what remained of her through the veil of blood.

He walked into the room and saw the light that spilled into the darkened room from the bathroom. Walking across the floor he stopped before the door and slid it open as far as it would go. His eyes settled on her naked form before the mirror, her forehead pressed against the stained glass. She was silent and gave no sign of noticing him. Going to her side he removed his coat and draped it over her shoulders.

"Why?"

Kneeling down beside her he pulled her into his arms, holding her close to him. "Because…" he trailed off, his silence filling the emptiness.


	3. Like You

**Summary: It had all ended and she was left with what ifs and memories.**

**Disclaimer: Furuba is the property of Natsuki Takaya. The song Like You is the property of Evenescense.**

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Like You

_Stay low_

_soft, dark, and dreamless_

_far beneath my nightmares_

_and loneliness_

_I hate me_

_for breathing without you_

_I don't want to feel_

_anymore for you_

He was safe, but in the worst possible way. If he had only stayed away this would have never happened, but it was too late.

_It's my fault. Haru… _She hugged herself, suddenly feeling cold. Closing her eyes, she wondered if it would different if she had never allowed herself to fall in love with him. Maybe if she had made herself invisible, obscured her feelings so that they would have remained separate then there would have been a happy ending rather than this grievous one.

_Grieving for you_

_I'm not grieving for you_

_nothing real love can't undo_

_and though I may have lost my way_

_all paths lead straight to you_

They had been in love; at least that was the illusion they had lived under. She had thought that their love would be enough to keep them apart so that in time they would return to lives that would place them each into a life that would have them unhappy, but he would be safe. That was what she had convinced herself so that he could move on and she would stop using him. Despite everything that she had tried to convince herself though, each path she chose in life had Haru standing at the end of it.

_I long to be like you_

_lie cold in the ground like you_

_I'm pathetic. Why couldn't I protect you?_ She closed her eyes against the tears that threatened to overwhelm her. _Why did you have to die?_

_Halo_

_blinding wall between us_

_melt away and leave us alone again_

_humming, haunted somewhere out there_

_I believe our love can_

_see us through in death_

Akito had been the bane of their existence. It was because of that man that she had pushed him away and how she had almost died twice. Unfortunately he had not been so lucky.

That night, she could remember it clearly. It haunted both her days and her nights. He had come to her in the dead of night. She had not realized that he was there at first until a feeling had awakened her.

_She stared at him, not sure if she was still dreaming._

_"Rin."_

_His voice was weak and she sat up, suddenly awake. "What's wrong Haru?" He didn't answer. Instead he kissed her gently and she closed her eyes. 'Why is he acting like this?' She slipped her hands down his chest and felt a warm wetness. Pulling back, she looked at her hand and despite the lack of light saw that a dark liquid coated her fingers. "Haru… What happened?"_

_He wrapped his arms around her and held her close. "I'm sorry Rin."_

_"Haru, tell me what happened. Please."_

_"I confronted that monster."_

_Her eyes widened and she could feel her body shaking._

_He brushed his lips against her neck. "I love you," he whispered._

_I long to be like you_

_lie cold in the ground like you_

_there's room inside for two_

_and I'm not grieving for you_

_I'm coming for you_

If only she had been the one to confront him. So many times in her life she had wished that she would die. Maybe if she had Haru would have grieved and then moved on. He would still be alive. Now she was left her to grieve, but she couldn't. If she did it would mean that he was truly gone and they could never be together again.

_You're not alone_

_no matter what they told you_

_you're not alone_

_I'll be right beside you forevermore_

She could still feel his arms holding her close, keeping her safe, warm. Whenever they were together he had promised her in his words and actions that he would stay by her side. Even when they weren't together she knew. Forever was his promise. In death it remained strong, keeping her sane. A constant reminder of him.

_I long to be like you_

_lie cold in the ground like you_

_there's room inside for two_

_and I'm not grieving for you_

_and as we lay in silent bliss_

_I know you remember me_

_I long to be like you_

_lie cold in the ground like you_

_there's room inside for two_

_and I'm not grieving for you_

_I'm coming for you_

Kneeling down onto the ground she stared longingly at the stone that marked his grave. It hurt knowing that she could feel the caress of the wind, the warmth of the sun and he lay for eternity in the earth's cold embrace. She dug her hands into the earth, but knew that she could not reach him. Her body was becoming colder and she felt the overwhelming desire to sleep. "I'm sorry Haru," she whispered.

Haru had been dead for one week, but the pain his death caused had been too great. An empty bottle of pills that she had used to mask the pain caused by her ulcer complications lay in the grass. Maybe now they could be together in a way they had been unable to obtain in life.

"I never told you that I loved you, Haru. Would you hear me if I told you now?" She smiled to herself. "You probably would." She laid down upon his grave. _I'm so tired._ Closing her eyes, she breathed a heavy sigh. "Haru…"


	4. Holding On

**Summary: The only thing he could do now was hold her.**

**Disclaimer: Fruits Basket is the property of Natsuki Takaya. I hold neither affiliation nor ownership.**

_Author's Note: This is a companion piece to Mirror._

* * *

She knelt amidst the ruin of broken glass. Staring at her he couldn't help but feel guilty. Kneeling down he pulled her into his arms. It seemed that now holding her was the only thing that he could do. He was helpless to protect her. She grasped his arm and he held her closer, closing his gray eyes. He could do what he could. Maybe if he continued to hold on, no matter how foolish it was, she would remain if only for a little while longer.


	5. Savior

**Summary: A part of her had died, but he was still with her.**

**Disclaimer: Fruits Basket is the property of Natsuki Takaya. I hold neither affiliation nor ownership.**

* * *

Her heart beat rapidly, a loud noise in the endless silence. She stared into the darkness with shifting brown orbs. _How could this happen?_ She could feel his breath tickling her neck, but the sound of his breathing, the light of the moon as it filtered through the blinds was gone. She was still alive, that much she was sure of and yet she wasn't. It was as though a piece of her had died. Maybe it had. It wouldn't surprise her. After everything it was miraculous that she still drew breath. He shifted and his arms pulled her closer to him and back to reality. The night's sounds returned. Turning her head she saw Haru's face illuminated by the silvery light of the moon. His expression was peaceful and she could feel tears forming in her eyes. She slipped her arms around him and tucked her head beneath his chin. At least with him she could be saved, she could continue to breathe and remain whole.


	6. Listless

**Summary: He was to late.**

**Disclaimer: Fruits Basket is the property of Natsuki Takaya. I hold neither affiliation nor ownership.**

* * *

He stared into the dark brown orbs that he loved. Her gaze was distant yet focused. Warm tears burned his eyes and trailed down his face. Her hand reached up and she touched his face lightly with cold fingertips. Leaning down he kissed her blood stained lips.

"Haru…"

Her hand fell away from his cheek. Closing his eyes he held her still form close. He had been to late to save her from Akito. To late to tell her that he loved her.


	7. Some Things Are Easier

**Summary: The look on his face left a tear in her heart.**

**_Author's Note: Flashback to when Rin broke up with Haru._**

**Disclaimer: Fruits Basket is the property of Natsuki Takaya. I hold neither affiliation nor ownership.**

* * *

The pain in her heart was unbearable, but she did not turn away from the shattered expression on his face.

"I don't need you anymore," she repeated.

His face became impassive, but she could still see the hurt reflected in his eyes. He turned away and she flinched when the door closed. She would never forget the look on his face. Maybe one day she would tell him why she did what she did.


	8. Shield

**Summary: He would always be there.**

**Disclaimer: Fruits Basket is the property of Natsuki Takaya. I hold neither affiliation nor ownership.**

* * *

She had pushed him away. At first he had not understood, but eventually the truth became known to him. Her reasoning seemed foolish; but then again she had always been stubborn. She wanted to protect him by making herself a target. She was willing to put her life on the line. He understood her intentions though.

That day when her parents had abandoned her he had made a promise to himself to be there. He had promised to be her friend, her protector, to be the one who would never leave.

He would keep his promise though she tried to make it otherwise. He would continue to be her shield.


	9. His Shadow

**Summary: His beloved shadow, a friendly watcher.**

**Disclaimer: Fruits Basket is the property of Natsuki Takaya. I hold neither affiliation nor ownership.**

* * *

The students milled about the school like ants. The school day had ended, but they seemed reluctant to leave.

From her place across the street she waited, her eyes scanning the crowd. He appeared minutes later and she watched as he began his trek home. His head turned in her direction and she hid herself behind a misplaced tree. Her heart beat rapidly and there was a strange, but familiar feeling in her stomach. She knew that his gaze was on her hiding place. Eventually, the feeling faded and her heart rate returned to normal. She glanced out from behind the tree.

* * *

Haru smiled slightly when he felt again the weight of her gaze. He looked over his shoulder and saw her, his shadow, his beloved Rin.


	10. True

**Summary: Despite it all, for better or for worse.**

**Disclaimer: Fruits Basket is the property of Natsuki Takaya. I hold neither affiliation nor ownership.**

* * *

His fingers moved lightly over the scar on her back. Her healed wound was a living memory which made him hate Akito, but even more, he was left feeling thankful that she was still alive. In his arms she shifted.

"Don't," she whispered.

"It doesn't bother me."

Rin opened her eyes and gazed at the far wall of the room. "Haru…"

"Rin." He shifted so that he could look at her face. "I don't know what I would do without you," he said gently.

Tears prickled her eyes. Her home, he was too good to be true. "That's not fair," she said with a slight laugh.

The sound, it was beautiful. It made her face radiant. Her laugh, her words, she herself, none of it was figment or a lie, an escape. "Rin…" She smiled and he mirrored it. Leaning down he kissed her gently.

_I love you._

_

* * *

_

Author's Note: This is the final installment of this particular collection. I hope that you enjoyed.


End file.
